Life Lessons from Ebenezer: Don't Let the Ghost from Your Past Get You Down

As the holidays come and go, one of the most popular movies that we see on network television is the holiday classic called A Christmas Carol featuring non other than the crankiest holiday nay-sayer around, Mr. Ebenezer Scrooge. 

Funny thing is. as I see it, we can learn a lot from this grouchy, ghost-fearing guy.

Exactly what life lessons can we learn from Ebenezer, anyway?

Those Scrooge scaring apparitions got it right in my book. Ironically, I never realized how Scrooge's life lessons gave me the foundation to much of my coaching business (and I thought I was an original?)

Remember Your Past - The Good Things

Just like how Ebenezer needs to go down memory lane to remember more carefree days upon first meeting with The Ghost from Christmas Past, I have my clients do the same, when it comes to reflecting on happier times. 

Ironically, Ebenezer was not always a "Scrooge".

Like Ebenezer, many of my clients have experienced (unwanted) transitions, and, as a result, have given them a more pessimistic view of life.  As an antidote, I have them gently revisit times past where they were more carefree and simply put - happier.

By doing this, they can reconnect with the things/people/places that were enjoyable to restore that twinkle in their eye. They are able to remember who they were prior to the transition (sometimes unwanted) they are facing to give them back a bit of themselves they may have lost along the way.

Accept Your Present

One of the most important life lessons that Scrooge experienced was his current reality - how he treated the people that worked for him, the chain of events that took place by having Tiny Tim's father work on Christmas and so on.

Just like Scrooge, by looking at your current situation and seeing it for what it is, you are most likely to be able to accept it as a means of moving forward. If you are in a constant push and pull with yourself by perpetuating the "blame game," you will be stuck in that reality.

By taking responsibility for the situation you are in (and are unhappy with) , you will most likely take alternate steps on how get to a better place in the future. For example, if you wake up today and finally admit that you can't stand your new haircut, I would imagine that the smart thing to do would be to find a new hair stylist in the future. The same premise goes for your personal and professional life. 

Simply put, if it isn't working for you then fix it - but you cannot fix it if you continually blame other people for your circumstances.

In order to do this, first, you need to take mental inventory of your current reality. What is working for you and what do you need to change?

Have you always wanted to go back to school for your MBA? 

Are you sick of looking at the same pile of CD's sitting in the corner of your family room (I use this example from personal experience!) or are you missing your date night with your husband?

These are all doable tasks that you can fix. But, you will not take the steps to fix them if you do not acknowledge them. 

By accepting your present does not mean you cannot change it. By accepting your present, as Dr. Phil says, you are "getting real with yourself." Which, in my book, is the first step to changing it.

It boils down to this - take responsibilty for your life.

Dream About a Better Tomorrow

I really don't think Scrooge would have changed unless he took a look into his future. He was able to see the results of his behavior and it really hit home.

Just like Scrooge, we need to think about how we are living our lives TODAY that will result in a better tomorrow. 

If you keep doing more of the same, you will get more of the same results. 

Sometimes, we are so reactive to our lives that we neglect to plan them. We simply react to the people and situations around us rather than having a game plan.  You need to think about the daily goals you want to achieve - actually envision the results - in order to obtain them and the bigger goals.

As for me, I am not afraid to dream big. It isn’t unusual for me to sheepishly discuss my dreams to the occasional nay-sayer. However, I refuse to let their Scrooge-like beliefs get in the way of my future.  

To practice what I preach, I have a vision board in my bedroom that has a whole array of hopes and dreams that if anything, make me happy when I look at them first thing in the morning. I have pictures of my friends and family – those that I am grateful to have  in my life.

Also, on a more playful note, I have photos of castles in Scotland that I hope to visit one day.  As I see it, these pictures give me a "mental road map" for my action plan to one night go stay in a beautiful castle (minus the ghosts, thank you very much!)

Take the time today to make a list of the things in your life that are working for you - those everyday tasks/situations/people/ encounters that are going right.

Use this as a gratitude list to create a positive mindset for you to take this plan a step further. For instance, if you were excited that you finally ran those two miles this morning, why not plan to run a 5K in the spring?

Scrooge was really no different from the rest of us. He was a nice guy who took a wrong turn. His heart was in the right place he just needed  a few ghosts to get him back on track.

Don't wait for an apparition to show you the way. You have the tools to do it right now.

Think about what things/people/places that used to bring you joy in the past and what is positively working for you in the present. And, think about the "wonderful life" (no pun intended) you want for yourself  in the future. 

Once you do, ghosts or no ghosts, I guarantee you will sleep like a baby tonight.

Happy Holidays!

Patti