"Be An Original" - Follow Your Heart Instead of the Herd

Every single time I hear the term "get real" I have visions of Dr. Phil dancing through my head - I can't decide if this is scary scene or not.

However, as far as self-help taglines goes, is one of his favorite pitches he uses when talking to his guests on his talk show. I am fascinated by this phrase so much so that I often wonder the true meaning of the term "get real".

When it comes to you, how do we peel back the proverbial onion, bare our true selves to find out how fabulously authentic we really are? Won't we feel naked?

What if you don't know what your "real" really is?

That's the hard part.

I have a rock star of a client (not in the literal sense, but she is as cool as Bono in my book) who has the greatest ability to pinpoint what's not working in her life with so much self-awareness and self-reflection that it could knock your socks of. And, one of the terms she used during my Be Your Own Success Story workshop last Thursday night was dead on.

When it came to being a true success story, in my client's book, it took one key component to put herself back on track with her own life and that was, simply put, to "stop following the herd."

Many of us are so used to doing what we think is the "right thing" that we forget what that that right thing really is when it comes to our own set of rules and living our authentic life.

For example, are we bad stay at home moms if we don't participate in every fundraising event at our local school, not bake the cupcakes for back to school night, or never offer to be class mom? Or, on the flip side, are we bad moms if we stay at work late to wrap up a proposal only to miss your child's game or secretly send our kids to school with dirty socks?

How many times do we make decisions based on fear and how we may look to the outside world (aka the herd) instead of doing what we internally, morally feel is right?

That is the 1,000,000 question.

And, most of all, we need to get real with ourselves and "realize" what decisions we make that are "fear based".

The point is, so much of what we do as far as doing what is the consensus, "following the herd" or better yet, the process in which morphs clones of each other, is not fueling this Dr. Phil-is" of getting real. In fact, it does just the opposite. It's creating a culture of people acting, looking, saying, doing, and being duplicates of one another with no authenticity whatsoever.

How sad (but most importantly) - how boring.

What I like most about these monthly goal-setting workshops is that we strip ourselves down, get honest with what works and what doesn't in our lives. But, most of all, we get real and do not fear judgement. We are who we are or rather, we are who we want to be.

Notice what you are doing today that is "following the herd" versus following your heart.

Sometimes, it's hard to differentiate between the two which causes "our moral alignment" to be out of sync. When that happens, you will notice as you are a bit edgy, unfulfilled with your daily routine and for me, I get "itchy". No, I don't get a rash - I get bored, impatient and uninterested in what I am doing. When the sparks goes out, the sparks go out - that is what happens to me when I follow the herd.

What you need to do is to reignite that spark and find a new pasture.

As we get older, we tend to follow the masses. No, this doesn't make you weak, a bad person or nuts, it just makes you human. With so much on our plates with career, kids, and all the high expectations that accompany the two, some times it's easier not to re-invent the wheel than to go on the soul search and get real.

It's just too tiring.

What's a girl to do? The first step is to realize what you want.

If you are "itchy", like me, and are constantly seeking new ways to find yourself, well, then there's your answer. Step two on your soul-searching journey - may be the need for you to stop in your tracks, find a detour and to halt following other people.

Have the guts to be "you" today - your authentic, wonderful, "non-follower of the herd", cool you.

When you realize the unique characteristics that you have that no-one on this earth has, embrace that and be proud. Now go out and find your own pasture. And here's a little secret - they are greener than anyone else's by far and a lot less crowded.