A Mother's Day Tale 2012 - Mom Lessons, Crossing the Finish Line and Wishing for One More Lap

by Patricia Phelan Clapp M.A. LLC - Transition Coach

When it comes to Mother's Day - everyone seems so inquisitive.

"What are your kids going to do for you?"

This question (along with many others) is constantly being asked weeks prior to this this special day. Each year, I have to pause and think. Realistically, I don't need any hoopla, all I want to do is to spend the day the ones I love. And to be honest with you, it never sets the world on fire.

I guess I am rather boring.

Funny thing is - I have the same reaction each year. I don't need (or is that I feel like I don't deserve - a possible Dr. Phil moment?) any preferential treatment. Would it be nice? Sure. I have never said no to an egg being scrambled for me or a beautiful bouquet of flowers.

But, as corny as it may sound, and especially as I see some of my mommy days (all of us living under the same roof mom days) coming close to the finish line with a bunch of teenagers,  I am trying my best to make these days last.

Honestly, where did the time go?

It seems like one minute I was desperately seeking alone time - in-between kids taking naps and pick-ups from school. From runny noses to lost homework. To first break-ups to not so great "mom I sorry I did that weekends".  From bad mommy days when I felt like everything I did was wrong to those golden days (but few and far between) when I felt like" Rocky Mom".  I can't help but to get nostalgic, but I don't want to wish any more of these mommy days away.

Never again.

Sometimes I have to literally shake my head (resembling a confused cartoon character) to grasp how far away these days will seem to be soon. With a senior who is just about ready to launch, a freshman who looks more grown up every day when hair straightening seems to be a daily ritual to my soon-to-be step daughter who is now taller than me at almost 13 years old, I can't believe I am not tripping over Jake Justice action figures or watching Dora the Explorer anymore.  Honestly, a sad sigh escapes my lips at least once a day thinking about all this.

I think about how I will have to get used to passing my son's empty bedroom next fall while he attends Middlebury College in Vermont. Am I worried about him going six hours away to school, which sits next to a private ski mountain where he will practice tricks on his snowboard during football's off season? You may as well pass me a tranquilizer now but in my heart, I know he will be okay.

And I will be, too.

Empty bedroom and all.

Sigh.

Yet, before I get too lost down Memory Road, I know we have some pretty cool times ahead. And I don't want to miss them for a second by looking the wrong way.

So as I sit on my deck tomorrow in between petunia planting sessions (with my kids - my only request which will probably last about 30 seconds) I will be thinking about how lucky I am to be a mom, the lessons I have learned and the forgiveness I have had to practice on a daily basis - to me as well as my kids.

I will learn to accept the fact that the finish line is not too far away for these amazing people although I will forever be on the sidelines cheering for them, air horn and all.

Do I wish for one more lap?

To be honest with you, yes.

Some of the best days of my life have been spent at the dinner table laughing over turkey tacos with those crazy kids.  It wasn't the fancy vacations or even the momentous occasions that have stamped their way into my heart as a mom, it's those in between, "be careful not to blink" moments that will forever be part of who I am.

I guess you could say that I don't need any preferential treatment on Mother's Day this year or any other year for that matter.  To be a mom - that is all I want. And I have it.  But if the kids decide to clean their rooms in my honor, hey, I would be nuts to turn that down.

To all of you moms out there, enjoy your special day with your kids. Inhale every second. You may not have the easiest job in the world but you do have the best paid one. With love.

Not to shabby, huh? Bill Gates should be so lucky.